The Day I Set Out To Do 108 Sun Salutations

Bean there, (not yet) done that: my first attempt at 108 Sun Salutations.

I have heard about how yogis, on special occasions like spring equinox or birthdays, celebrate by performing 108 Sun Salutations. And so on my birthday three days ago, I thought “why not commemorate my 40th with 108 Surya Namaskaras?” A casual thought. Too casual, in fact.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. In yoga asana speak, I’m rushing to Savasana (final pose), when I should be warming up with Sun Salutations, which rightly so, is the theme of this entry.

So I laid out my mat, and searched for what I would use to count my salutations. A yogi friend of  mine who has done this before, piled 108 whole coffee beans on one side of the top of her mat, and after each sun salute, shifted one bean to another pile. A very clever choice of Sun Salute counters, I thought, because each time she folded forward in Uttanasana, she would catch a whiff of delicious coffee.

But because I buy my coffee already ground, I use dried beans from a pack in my kitchen cupboard instead. I set aside 108 in a glass bowl and put this bowl and an empty metal one at the top of my mat. 

Then, I begin. Long inhales, long exhales, I remind myself. I ride along with my breath as I rise, and with every drop I release it. At first I am awkward, clawing through the full bowl of beans and unable to pick anything up without fumbling. It takes a few tries before I finally find a flowing pattern that allows me to gracefully sweep one bean from the first bowl, then effortlessly drop it into to the second. When I hear the bean “clink” on to the metal surface of bowl #2, I feel triumphant knowing that I have finished yet another salute. 

The groove goes on for several more minutes, and then, it happens. I HIT THE WALL. The upper corners of my vision begin to cloud and darken. “Yikes, I think.” I look at the contents of my bowls. The left one seems unchanged, and I can still see the bottom of the right one. “Gasp, how many have I done?” I ask myself. I continue to go along with it though, taking breaks in Child’s Pose when I need to. Sometimes I stand in Mountain Pose longer, and catch my breath before continuing. A few more salutes in and I feel like I’ve blown up 50 gigantic party balloons. I feel dizzy and tired, and start to question myself. “Why should I do 108? Why don’t I just do 40? It’s my 40th birthday, after all.”

And then the phone rings. On a normal home practice session, I would ignore the call. But at this point I am desperate and need an excuse to take a break. “It’s my birthday, the call could be someone from far away,” I reason. And so I step out of my mat and answer the call. It’s my fiancé, asking me how my birthday is coming along so far. He senses I am tired and out of breath. “What are you doing?” he asks, and I explain my 108 project. He is amazed and surprised and concerned. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he gently warns me, knowing that I am still recovering from a shoulder injury. We say goodbye, and I drag myself back to my mat, dreading to do the remaining required Suryas. 

I crouch down to count the beans in the second bowl: 41. Only forty one and I feel like I can’t finish the rest. But I try. Every time I do a Chaturanga, my face zooms in to the first bowl, emphasizing how what I have NOT YET done, and I am overwhelmed. It gets worse each time, and I realize I cannot do it. I stay a bit longer in the next Downward Facind Dog and resolve that I WILL NOT do it. Instead I take a few more beans out of the first bowl—enough so that I at least do a total of 54 Sun Salutations— and put them on the floor. This is the new pile from which I take and put into the metal bowl. At least half, I think. I can do half. I continue. The remaining five I do are labored and heavy and difficult. When I put the last bean into bowl #2, I take a few moments in Child’s Pose, before lying down in Savasana.

When I stand and roll up my mat and carry the bowls to the kitchen, I feel like a failure, unable to finish what I set out to do. But then a realization strikes: I was so fixated on the first bowl—what I didn’t do, that I forgot to appreciate the second bowl—what I DID do. Hey, I finished 54 Sun Salutations! Then I smile. It’s true that I’m just not ready to finish 108 Sun Salutations, and that’s alright. Maybe one day I’ll have the strength and the focus, but not today. Maybe when I turn 108.

#108SunSalutations #108SuryaNamaskaras