I've started a new habit!
It began with a Yin-inspired home practice of seated and supported yoga postures—a rarity for me, as Vinyasa Flow is my automatic preference. I love its fluidity, creativity, and dynamism, but tonight my gut told me to keep it simple. And so in the silence of my dimly-lit living room, as my child was fast asleep and my husband was working overtime, I lay on the floor and held each posture for 5, then 10, then 15 breaths. Each shape that my body settled in was not dictated by a set sequence. Instead, I was led by instinct. Each transition was as valuable as the next posture, and I felt that each movement was as sacred as a ritual. Each action was a mindfulness practice in itself. The next thing I knew, I was on my last pose: lying face up, with a big bolster supporting my torso. My heart facing the sky, arms extended out to the sides, soles of my feet kissing.
In the stillness of this final posture, I intuitively began to thank my body for everything we've been through all these years: for giving me strength to forge onward, instead of cowering in fear (and acknowledging that when I did cower in fear, that was what I needed to either protect myself or learn something valuable). For toughing it out and healing well every time I got hurt. For helping me carry my daughter safely into this world, despite being late in the motherhood game. For being able to get me up the toughest climbs and grueling paths, as well as for charging with me down steep and scary hills—first feeling unwilling, afraid, and awkward, then slowly confident, self-assured, and carefree.
After thanking my body, it felt natural to apologize as well: for the negative self-talk when I thought that I was too fat, too weak, too slow, or simply not good or beautiful enough. ''Thank you... and I'm sorry...'' I whispered, laying my hands on my heart and belly. And then so organically, I punctuated my thanks and apologies with ''I love you,'' as I sat up and wrapped myself in a hug.
The elation and self-assurance I felt after saying these powerful words was just what I needed, and I couldn't help wonder why I had NEVER done this before. Well, it's never too late to start a good habit, so if you haven't done this in a while (or at all), I hope you'll find the right moment to do so. Because when you do, you'll feel that warm fuzzy feeling that nobody can take away from you.
By the way, if you would like to join me for a Yin-inspired yoga practice, join me at Meyo House Yoga on Wednesdays, from 19:15-20:15, beginning March 16, 2022.